How to move past the hurts when people lie to you.

People lying to people? Christians lying and manipulating other Christians? Family members purposely lying to control and manipulate the situation to make themselves appear good?  These are just some of the questions that go through our heads and we try to grasp in this world today.  As Christians who have made the choice to walk upright and holy and lay aside selfish desires we can hardly comprehend that we would live in a world today where people still consciously or subconsciously choose to lie.

Lying is a deceptive, manipulative, controlling spirit tied to pride.  People lie to us because they have the unbridled need for control and pride is running rampant in their lives.  They haven’t been convicted how bad this spirit of lying and deception destroys marriages, businesses, relationships, among other things.  People have accepted the fact that lying is an acceptable form of behavior in order to prove themselves right and get their way.  The fact of this healing is not why people lie, we need to briefly understand it so we the person who has been lied against can move on and learn to forgive.

Lying is a spirit; yes the person takes ownership but what about the person who doesn’t realize all of their actions are lying.  This person is influenced by a demonic spirit.  We need to love the person, because we are in relationship because we do enjoy the person and we were created to love.  We need to dislike the demonic spirit influencing them.  Therefore, we need to love the spirit and dislike the spirit or principality controlling them.

As I look at lying I see family members lying to make themselves look good and prove their point.  Leaders lying because pride is so prevalent in their lives they are blinded by it.  Pastors lying because control is in their church or in themselves.  Business owners lying for personal financial gain and the list goes on and on.

What does someone like you or I need to do to come against all those lies?  We need to realize that person is in bondage and needs the love of Jesus.  Yes, even ministry leaders and pastors can be blinded to demonic spirits and be in bondage to them.  Just look at the news stories to prove that, pastors don’t choose to commit adultery, homosexuality and other sins.  They are entrapped and ensnared by a demonic spirit, the same goes with lying. 

We need to extended grace to the person even though we may not feel like it.  We need to extend the same grace to the person that Jesus Christ extended to us while we were in sin. (We still sin, but hopefully now we attempt daily to minimize and erase that sin.) We too were once in bondage. We too once did not see in the light. We too were blinded by the enemy and while our friends, family, co-workers, ministry leaders are blinded we need to extend them grace.

We need to forgive. We need to move on. Yes, we have been hurt. Yes, we have been betrayed. No, we don’t fully understand why, but we are held accountable to God and not man. We must choose to forgive to give no place to the enemy. We must choose to let go so we do not harbor grudges, bitterness and resentment.  We are going to get hurt and when we forgive we are going to pick up the pieces and then we are going to get hurt again.  We cannot go through the rest of our life not getting hurt.  It’s all that matters is that you are right with God. That in His sight you are forgiven and found not guilty. You are not responsible for the other person. You need to open your heart to God and realize that man will sin against you, man will sin against God, but love prevails.  When we open our heart to God, His goodness will shine through and His love will prevail in us and through us.  The love we want is in our own heart towards others.

We don’t understand why people lie, make stuff up, and blame us when they are wrong. It doesn’t matter; we are responsible for what is in our heart.  To let you know how a demonic spirit works and to assist you in further healing a spirit of pride often makes people lie.  Pride twists and turns communication and makes the hearer receive it different than the person talking to them said it.  It can come across so twisted that someone can say, “I am going to the store,” and the other person will hear, “I ordered a pizza.” Think about a person who twists what you say and you may discover someone who you need to extend a little extra grace to.

The bottom line, don’t rerun the conversations, don’t wonder what you did wrong, simply repent, forgive, love and move on. People won’t meet your expectations, but God will exceed your expectations.  Learn to trust Him to have Him be your ultimate teacher, boss, pastor, friend and family member and you will have someone you can always go to, to lean on and trust in.

Blessings to you and may you find hope and healing.





~ by Kathy DeGraw on September 9, 2013.

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